Many people wonder about the possibility of starting over in life. Often, it’s because something has gone wrong. Perhaps someone they loved died, maybe they lost their job, or sometimes it happens when a relationship comes to an end.
For many people, starting over involves running away. However, you don’t always need to physically leave the place you are right now and leave everyone behind. Starting again is something you do from within, not by changing your home address.
With that said, starting over is still challenging. If it wasn’t, people would do it all the time. When you decide on a new course for your life, you often face tremendous resistance of all kinds. You know where you want to go, but the world seems hell-bent on stopping you from getting there.
Fortunately, this post is here to help. We explore some of the ways you can start your life over without running away. Here’s what you need to do:
Develop New Habits
We celebrated publicly what people master privately. Think of the star football player. They spend thousands of hours on muddy fields kicking balls around for one moment of glory in the Champion’s League. People don’t see all the countless sessions they dedicated to mastering their craft and assume they have talent.
That’s why habits are so valuable. They are things you do every day. The more you practice them, the more they shape your destiny.
Developing new habits takes time – about 20 to 60 days. However, if you can get over the hump, it will make it much easier to start over in life.
For instance, suppose you want to get the exercise habit. That usually takes around 60 days of consistent effort to master. Then, no matter what happens in your life, you’ll always feel the pull towards physical activity.
The same goes for meeting people and networking. It can be challenging at first, but if you stick with it, you’ll eventually get there.
Once you have a set of healthy habits, you have the foundations for a better life. You can get away from the things that were holding you back in the past and move forwards with your life.
Do Something Massive
Changing your life also requires taking massive action. You need to do something extraordinary to jolt your circumstances onto a new trajectory. If you do nothing, nothing will happen.
Taking massive action usually involves:
- Knowing your goals
- Doing something fundamentally different on a daily basis
- Doing things urgently that will move you towards your goals
- Doing something that makes you feel fearful
- Continuing to do the hard things until you get the results you want
- Proactively seeking out actions that cause pain in the short-term, but improve your life long-term
- Consistently committing yourself to your efforts
For example, taking massive action could be setting up a business and then making sales calls for ten hours a day to win clients. It could also be writing material for a social media channel, creating a new product from scratch, or applying for better jobs.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Starting over in life also requires learning from your mistakes. If you can pinpoint what you got wrong before, you can prevent something similar from happening again.
Many people dwell on their mistakes and regret the decisions they made. They feel hamstrung psychologically, unable to move forwards.
Clearly, letting go of the guilt and then building from there is the only way: forwards. Even if you messed up, you can’t do anything about the past. You can only let it go and move on.
When you learn from your mistakes, you avoid making them a second time. Ultimately, this approach makes your life better because you figure out how the game works. When you are young, you get things wrong. But as you get older, you learn a lot through experience and observation of yourself.
If you have a criminal record, you can put the past behind you officially with record sealing. This legal process involves sealing public records (so people can’t access them) or destroying them completely. This approach really can give you a fresh start and reduce barriers you face in your life.
Review Your Goals
When you start over in life, you should also think about what you want. Many people pursue things that don’t serve them for years before they realize they made a mistake.
The COVID-19 lockdowns were a good example of this process in action. Workers away from the office suddenly realized they preferred spending time with their families than being chained to their desks. Many wondered why they put so much effort into doing their jobs when their lives could be much simpler and happier without the pressure.
The same goes for relationships. Many people invest their heart and soul into them, knowing they aren’t right for them. Then, when they finally have a chance to reflect, they see their goals have changed.
Therefore, take a look at your goals and question whether they make sense to you, given what you know about yourself.
For example, if you think you want a romantic relationship in your life, ask whether you want to deal with the in-laws, arguments, and bedroom problems.
Similarly, if you think you want a dream job, ask if you can tolerate the long hours, high pressure, and bullying boss.
Starting over is something you can do alone. However, most people need help. Developing new habits, reviewing goals, and learning from your mistakes aren’t easy. Getting someone else’s opinion can provide valuable insights.
Of course, if you have a strong sense of self, you can try to do things independently. This strategy may actually be the best because you are listening to your inner voice – the real you.
Try to avoid reaching out to people you know. Instead, talk to willing strangers about your situation and get their advice. Question a large number of people and get the gist of what people think you should do next. People close to you have a habit of telling you who you are, making it harder to discover the truth.
Check Your Priorities
When starting over, it’s also a good idea to check your priorities in life. Probe yourself and ask what really matters to you and why. Many people pursue relationships, careers, and even religions when they know deep down that they aren’t right for them.
Think back to when you graduated from college or school. How did you imagine your life to turn out? If there’s no similarity, it’s probably because you went off track somewhere in your twenties or thirties.
Checking in with your priorities helps you reconnect with the life you want. It also gets you out of the habit of people-pleasing all the time instead of living an authentic life. This way, you can make bold decisions and be true to yourself.
Ask A Life Coach To Help You
You can also get a life coach to help you if you are struggling with some aspect of moving forward with your life. These professionals can often offer deep insights to keep you on track.
Life coaches, for example, are excellent at helping you avoid procrastination. They can teach you what causes it and how to overcome it.
They can also help you with starting a new job or business. Many have experience in high-flying careers or as entrepreneurs, founding new companies.
Life coaches are even helpful in romantic relationships. They often have a deep understanding of the landscape of most marriages and can assist you in tackling various problems you might face.
Ultimately, they make it easier to jumpstart your new life, getting you off your old trajectory, and putting you on a new one.
Find Out What You’re Worth
Another great way to start on a new track in life is to find out what you’re worth. Many people get stuck in limited thinking, believing they can only make a limited amount of money every year to be successful. But the people who break through eliminate these self-imposed limits. They believe they can make as much money as they want, or be as happy as they want, and they go out and do it.
Finding out what you’re worth is essentially a process of reprogramming your unconscious. Instead of having a fixed mind, this approach tells you to be more open.
Celebrate Your Progress
Lastly, starting over in life is challenging and takes time. That’s why it is essential to celebrate your progress along the way.
When you appreciate your achievements, it helps bring home what you’ve done. You can see the results of your hard work and what it’s allowed you to do. You can also get a sense of where you are heading and how long it will take to get there. For some people, the process can be highly motivating.
In summary, you don’t have to run away when you start over. Making small changes daily can add up to a fantastic life in ten or twenty years.