Our interview with clinical sexologist and certified sex counselor Dr. Ava Cadell.
Dr. Ava’s personal brand is “Sexual Empowerment”. She is a media therapist, author of ten books, global speaker and founder of Lovelogy University.
Dr. Ava, has appeared on hundreds of shows including The Doctors (2008), LA Shrinks (2013), Kendra on Top (2012), Cathouse: The Series (2005), and a variety of programs for MTV, VH1, Discovery, Lifetime, TLC, “E” and A&E.
Through her private practice in L.A., Dr. Ava counsels some of Hollywood’s elite on personal issues that range from anger management, fear of intimacy, communication problems, performance anxiety, infidelity, love and sex addiction, lack of desire, power struggles to parental concerns. A highly sought after speaker, Dr. Ava has traveled to four continents motivating Fortune 500 business people, religious organizations, medical institutes, women’s groups and college students to embrace the power of love and create magical relationships.
Dr. Ava Cadell, it’s such a pleasure to interview you. Can you please tell us a little about yourself to start off?
I’m a world traveler and consider myself to be a sexual healer. I’ve overcome a lot of adversity to get to where I am, but I’m grateful for all my struggles because it makes me a better friend, lover and boss. I’m proud of my accomplishments which far exceed what I could have imagined as a child growing up in an orphanage. I love my life and I’ve found peace, love and happiness.
Describe yourself in 3 words.
Passionate, playful & punctual.
Who is your biggest champion?
My creative consultant, Paula Tiberius, who has traveled the world with me on my public speaking tours for six years, and who always reminds me that even when I’m bad, I’m good.
What are the basic principles or functions of a sexologist?
Sexologists study the science of human sexuality, including sexual pleasure and dysfunctions. As a sexologist, I counsel people who are seeking help with dating, relationship or sexual issues, but I get the most satisfaction lecturing to big groups so that I can get my message across to many people at once, and so that every question from the crowd benefits everybody.
How did you become interested in becoming a clinical sexologist and certified sex counselor?
I found my calling by hitting rock bottom in my dating life, when I didn’t even know the difference between love and sex. I became the help I needed.
Then later when I was an actress on TV (The Love Boat, Mike Hammer, The Fall Guy) and in movies (Fit to Kill, Hard Hunted, Do or Die), I had a lot of fans that presumed because I played sex symbol roles, I was also a sex expert. They would ask my advice about their love and sex lives, and I felt compelled to help them, which motivated me to go back to school and get my doctorate in human sexuality.
What is most challenging part about what you do?
When I travel to different countries and continents, it’s very important for me to do my research so that I can connect with the couples I’m lecturing to, and be respectful of their religious and cultural influences around love and sex. For example, in India, many couples are in arranged marriages where they get married and fall in love, rather than falling in love and then getting married, as we do in the Western world. That can be challenging, but also satisfying because love is universal, as everybody wants to be loved, and learn how to be a great lover.
We also know you are a published author of 10 books. Can you please tell us about that?
I started writing books twenty years ago when I first stepped into the spotlight in radio and television as a clinical sexologist. My books range from finding love with 12 Steps to Everlasting Love: A Guide to Self-Improvement & Positive Relationships, to giving a sneak peek about my work with clients in Confessions to a Sexologist, to being playful without buying sex toys in Love Around the House. With that one, I went on several TV shows with a suitcase of household items and demonstrated how to use a rolling pin (for massage), a feather duster (for titillating tickling while blindfolded) and many more common household items. I wrote The Stock Market Orgasm for businesspeople whose companies were peaking while their relationships were dipping. This became my most successful global seminar in the 1990s, while Neuroloveology became my most successful seminar in the last five years, where I traveled to Australia, India, Africa, China, Thailand and all over North America. I’ve also written several Idiot’s Guides such as The Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex & The Idiot’s Guide to the Kama Sutra. Of course these aren’t for idiots, they’re for people who just want the facts. Penguin/Alpha Publishing also asked me to write a book about sexy games, which became The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games filled with kissing games, food and sex games as well as fantasies and role-playing to add more playfulness into relationships. A lot of people take sex too seriously. The book I’m writing now, #ReclaimingMe: Loving Solutions for Sexual Healing is about sexual healing and it’s for anyone who’s been sexually harassed, abused or assaulted. I’m hoping this will take me all over the world again, because what the world needs now is love…and healing.
You are the president of the American College of Sexologists International. Tell us about that role.
It’s an honor and a privilege to be the president of an organization that offers international accreditation to sexologists, sex educators and sex therapists. I’d like to see it grow to become an annual conference around the world where people in the sexual health and pleasure community can share ideas and collaborate in innovate ways with a goal of helping people make healthy sex a priority in their lives.
Best advice ever given?
In the orphanage at age 5, Sister Mary told me that if I ever kissed a boy, a baby would pop out of my mouth. I’ve spent my whole life empowering people not to believe these silly, scary myths that many people hear as children that prevent them from having healthy sex lives.
Who is your favorite actor or actress? And why?
I like Jacqueline Bisset because she’s such a natural, sensual, talented beauty and a great role model for women as they mature.
3 things you can’t leave your house without?
I can’t leave my house without water, dental floss or chocolate.
What music do you like?
I love Motown because it makes me want to dance and other 60s music because it makes me happy.
Your idea of a perfect Sunday is…?
Sleeping late, coffee with a chocolate cookie, followed by Sexycises in my Buddha garden, then a 45-minute walk on the beach to Paradise Cove Beach Café for brunch, and a leisurely walk back, stopping for some meditation and manifestation. A good movie after the walk, and then barbecuing for friends in the evening.
What’s a normal day like in your life?
My ragdoll cat Zorro meows in my face until I give him a tummy tickle, then I get up for my coffee and chocolate cookie. I do some journaling and write my intentions for the day, with the goals that I want to reach, then I work out in my gym on the rowing machine. Then I take a bubble bath, and do some Yin yoga with my teacher Philipp Mansa. Paula shows up at 10am and we go over e-mails, answer questions from Loveology University students, write articles for Sexpert.com, update courses at LoveUniv.com and add new articles like this one to AvaCadell.com. When Paula leaves at 4pm, I start my private counseling schedule of clients via Skype or phone, until about 7, and I go to a dance class at 8 to learn salsa, swing or tango!
How do you see yourself in 5 years?
I hope I will have traveled to every country I’ve had on my bucket list. I’d like to have my own Loveology resort with coaches all over the world, and see Sexycises become a popular way for couples to connect with each other at resorts and gyms. I’d also like to start my own charity for abused children.
Do you support any charities?
My main charity is Ahead With Horses, a 50 year old organization helping severely disabled children through vaulting, which is gymnastics on horseback. The rhythm and movement of the horses helps them experience their own bodies in a different way, resulting in positive feelings, a sense of comfort and companionship. The therapy often leads to increased attention span, empathy and self-esteem. I’m in charge of their 50th anniversary celebration at Nickelodeon on November 11th, 2018. William Shatner is being honored with a humanitarian award, and it’s open to the public, so please come out and support! aheadwithhorsesla.org
Where we can follow you?
Quote: “We teach best what we most need to learn.” – Richard Bach
Holiday Destination: Bali
Drink: Passion Fruit Saké
Song: Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye
Sports Team: LA Galaxy