Divorce is, unfortunately, a necessary step for many long-loved couples across the UK. Irreconcilable differences, new challenges brought on by one spouse or the other, or simply the passage of time can see what was once a beautiful and boundless love start to fade. When these best-laid plans go awry, the impact of divorce can reverberate out and impact others.
This may not be the most pressing concern of yours if you are a newlywed couple with little in the way of life shared between you, but becomes your primary concern when children are involved. As a once-harmonious family unit, even if dysfunctional, divorce will have unavoidable and indelible impacts on the trajectory of your children’s lives. What can you do to minimise these impacts, for the betterment of your children?
Maintaining Stability
First, it is important to recognise the crucial nature of a stable and sustainable environment for your children. Instability and insecurity can lead to stress, which can in turn have a wide variety of deleterious consequences – from falling grades at school to developmental delays and even the onset of mental health disorders. As such, both you and your soon-to-be-ex should be placing the stability of your children’s lives before any acrimony between each other.
Open Communication
The first step, then, is to broach the subject of divorce with your children. This must be done delicately and calmly, so as not to invite unnecessary emotions into the room with you. If possible, sit your children down as a family, and as a united pair, to discuss what’s going to happen together. There is no easy way to do this, nor is there an easy way to field the difficult questions you’ll face; this will still be a better outcome in the long term than other methods of breaking the news.
Parental Cooperation
Throughout the divorce process, it is absolutely vital that you work together as best you can in service of your children’s comfort. Most divorce processes end in some form of shared custody, which requires cooperation and coordination between you to minimise the disruption they feel.
If your ex-spouse is being difficult, then this is where your choice of family solicitor can be crucial to the wellbeing of your kids. You might fight for more custody in the event of non-cooperation, or active attempts to derail the harmony your children deserve.
Professional Support for Children
Given the sensitive nature of divorce, it is important to recognise that your children may need their hands holding through the process in a more professional way. Arranging counselling or therapy sessions for your children, whether as a group family therapy process or individually, can help them properly grasp the nature of your divorce – and their freedom from responsibility for any part of your divorce.